he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
