I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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