i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
