So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Randomize
