So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
