If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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