His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
