don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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