ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
