Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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