Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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