Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
