no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
