I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
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