I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
