um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
