i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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