i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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