remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
