She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize