your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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