Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
