Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
