sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
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I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
This baby is an asshole
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
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I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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