Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I fill condoms, not promises.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
