Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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