last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
