i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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