The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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