margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
