So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize