I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize