And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
