Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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