And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
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