Im at strip club and am horny
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
