from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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