Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!