I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
This toilet bowl is my home.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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