I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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