think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Couch. On fire.