Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys

(214): View more from Texas

I hope to god you are high

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(248): View more from Michigan

just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy

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(906): View more from Michigan

How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?

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(713): View more from Texas

Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car

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(214): View more from Texas

So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.

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(765): View more from Indiana

Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.

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(619): View more from California

Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.

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(845): View more from New York

The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day

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(702): View more from Nevada

Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool

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