...so i touched it.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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