Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Sacagawea was the original milf.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
