I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
