I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I see more hoeing in ur future
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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