Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
