Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
