.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
