Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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