Im at strip club and am horny
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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