that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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