We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
