I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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