Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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