I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
