he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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