halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
