Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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