I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
