Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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