I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize