We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
