we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
