So drunk its hurt
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
