we have pet lesbian snakes
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
