There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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