STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
areolas are like halos for boobs.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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